I’m trying to be as good as possible in Fallout 3. My current Karma rating is Very Good with a picture of a holy man radiating light. Thankfully, there are a multitude of ways to be horrible that the game doesn’t recognise. My hobby is killing people, dressing up in their clothes and then visiting their friends and family.

Yeah, kid. That’s a real shame about your dad. Do you like my new hat and shiny badge?

This is Jerk Fashion. Being a villain in Fallout 3 is easy; you can kill almost anyone, you can enslave them, you can kill them and then eat them. In jerk fashion, it’s less about being evil and more about being as big of a dick as possible.

Sorry, no, I’ve never heard of a Mr. Burke. This suit had a man inside, but he didn’t seem to need it.

Being a good person in Fallout 3 isn’t about abstinence; it’s about being horrible to the people who are horrible themselves. I’m essentially role-playing as Dexter.

Nope, I’ve no idea what that noise from Mr. Tenpenny’s room was.

What’s that, America? I’ve no idea what happened to your historical documents and founding fathers.

That’s all I’ve got.